Sometimes it takes getting lost to find your way

It had been one of those days.

I had stumbled around the basement for months now, and thought surely I had discovered every little turn, crook and corridor. I thought I had the place mapped out, thought I could handle taking a slightly different route. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I checked my pride at the desk as I asked the security guard how best to find my way back to the office. I took comfort in the fact he had no idea how long I'd been working here. As I followed his directions and finally found myself in familiar surroundings, I began to ponder just how many times I'd gotten lost before finally finding my way.

That was how I'd learned how to get around in this city. I wouldn't know my way around half so well if I hadn't spent 6 months driving in circles, taking wrong turns down one-way streets, beating my steering wheel crying hysterically. Let me tell you, that was not fun in the process. And please, don't interpret the past tense to mean I've mastered DC driving. Now I'm simply fortunate enough to rely on GPS. But I can make my way to a few familiar places without it.

I'd had to lose myself a little when I changed life courses. When I walked away from my apparent career path, my family, my home, my intended--- all my future plans. I certainly didn't have a backup plan and I didn't have a clear alternative road mapped out. I'd charged blindly ahead, and I'd made more than one wrong turn in the process. Today, I could not be more thankful for that experience.

I found myself smiling outwardly as I made my way down the hall on the last familiar leg of my route. Some people responded in kind, some stared ahead or at the floor in order to avoid the offenses of my enthusiasm, and still others gave me confused sideward glances. A stranger with an open, friendly face is not common in these halls, and I relish the varied reactions. I find my own little predicaments amusing; why shouldn't I laugh at the mess that I am?

Right now, I feel like I am lost in life once more. I have shaken my steering wheel, beat my fists against closed doors, pulled out my hair and screamed like a banshee in frustration. Yet this simple reminder, that sometimes it takes getting lost to find my way, gives me comfort. I find a joy and a peace that allows me to step back away from my immediate circumstances and glimpse the bigger picture, if but for a moment. And it compels me to cast foolish grins at strangers and let them wonder why I'm so contented in the midst of it all.